I had to debate whether or not to write about this because one part of this is one of those subject matters that are normally way too personal. After thinking about it (and looking at the investment related topics that I have written about before under the guise of this online alias) I decided the benefits of this story would outweigh those other less desirable aspects when discussing financial related matters.
Part of this is related to what I’ve touched on before (most recently about those “ichi-go ichi-e” (一期一会) moments in life). Over the past decade, trying to “give back” has been a thing I just tried to do. Financially, I no longer had to worry about that (financial insecurity), which afforded me those opportunities to volunteer and/or donate to worthy causes. As is the case, nothing was ever expected in return (the important thing for me was knowing that it was mainly about trying to make a difference).
In recent years, this stretch of the holiday seasons hasn’t been spent in that usual way of celebrating it (more so during the final few years of my moms life); it’s been years since we even had an xmas tree up (not even a tiny artificial one) or exchanging gifts. Any particular day now is like “thanksgiving” and/or “giving back” where it can be something as simple as being helpful in some fashion (versus these particular days of commercialized excess; basically, it doesn’t have to always involve a financial transaction).
But that is unfortunately how many things are now; highly transactional relationships. And when it is that way, rarely does that translate into being able to receive a lot more in return in the future. It is what it is. Giving in some shape/form has been this part of me for years now though. The challenge is the same; finite resources for so many worthy causes/individuals (while also making sure that none of that is viewed as being something that can be taken for granted – which is the case with MANY charities where they end up spamming you relentlessly for even more donations).
I’ve cut off various known charities because of that mentality (viewing individuals like a bank account to be farmed). So I pick and choose carefully now. And it’s the same with any other thing where that giving is about helping (as many) to make a difference in ones life/goals. With that said, I’ve found it isn’t easy to do this. A couple of hundred to thousand dollars makes little dent if you are trying to disperse a six-digit fund. And no, giving a larger amount to fewer isn’t how I prefer to go about something like this either because again, that can have a negative effect (where you are then viewed as an ATM). That is the unfortunate downside of this topic that I am trying to touch upon. There’s a large amount of YouTube videos saying “never talk about these things”. If you don’t talk about them under your actual persona, then it isn’t too bad.
With that said, just trying to setup something like an Amazon gift card giveaway has proven to be difficult. If advertised too broadly, it attracts the wrong types of people. Promote it without any catches, and people think there is some catch involved (which is why I kept the initial giveaway amounts small). Basically, the initial conditions (reaching 250 followers by the new years) and the test scenario I created, highlights how having a larger platform/megaphone (which includes the usual follower/viewer metrics) for something like this, is required to gain any traction. With only a few days left in 2025, I’m just going to see how it goes but already know by the numbers that it will likely fail. And if that initial challenge condition fails (where this giveaway won’t even occur), that is not my loss. But I digress…
On this other side of the equation, when you deal with other likeminded individuals who give back (to society) in a non-transactional way (and mind you, this is only if they can afford to do this in the first place), the “reward” that is being received often times ends up being way more than was ever expected. Like for myself, these past few Xmas’ has been rather uneventful. Everyone is getting older with this relentless passing of time. It’s been over 4 years (gone in a flash) since my mom passed away while my father is now being cared for in a private foster care home. My moms younger brother (my uncle) decided to move himself into an assisted living facility for seniors last year (I know those places aren’t cheap).
My mom (when she was healthy) was previously the one who took care of her parents (my maternal grandparents) where I’d occasionally help her when I was still in college until my uncle retired when he took over that responsibility (and learned how it wasn’t easy). He had a long career (civilian working in nuclear engineering for the military in California). I knew he was well off financially (helping to pay off their parents mortgage and bills) but had no idea as to how much since he also lived a regular lifestyle (doing only the occasional travel). He had also kept to himself most of the times; while he did take part in certain family functions (like mainly Thanksgiving, Xmas, and New Years when the family celebrated that), he’d usually be absent from others.
When my mom came down with various health (physical and mental) issues, it was one of the main reasons why I began splitting my time between Japan and the US, before eventually moving back (part of my filial responsibilities). My uncle was always there to see her though (and that was also the period of time when I saw and talked to him often; he wasn’t the type to talk a lot, but it was still nice to be able to learn about some family history, while he also expressed how he appreciated all that she had done for their parents — that was something nice to hear coming from someone like him).
Which leads me to the following. I (along with a few other cousins who had been known by him to help their own parents over the years) received this cash gift as a thank you. My original xmas gifts were just the DJI Action 6 (not easy to just buy in the US due to the DJI ban by the government) and a 4TB Samsung T9 SSD. Never did I expect something like that (which made this Xmas a bit surreal). And the ironic thing is I have been trying to giveaway funds in an account (not including the proceeds from the equities that I have and am planning to divest from). Basically, I don’t need this money. But I am still nonetheless very grateful and highly appreciative of the reason for it. It’s not the amount that phased me; it’s the reason stated in the letter from my uncles estate planning lawyer.
Which brings me back to the main topic of this post; where the unselfish act of giving/having to make difficult sacrifices over the years, can lead to something unexpected like this down the road. I’ve noted it before that actions often times speaks louder than words. It’s way too easy to put things off and not follow through. It’s why I do not subscribe to resolutions (for the new year). You either try and do something to accomplish goals, or make excuses to never really do them (when that happens enough times, people see through that). When something like this unexpected cash gift happens, it is a reaffirmation of that (actions speaking louder than words) IMHO.
I know that for my cousins (the ones who also received this gift) that are still working to make ends meet, this will be extremely helpful for them. For myself, I have to view this in a completely different way (separate) because of the valuable sentiment that is attached to it. The reasons (made by my uncle when he performed this gifting request) in the letter, were a very simple acknowledgement of those prior selfless actions. It made me feel good after all of those years because it was done out of responsibility versus expecting something in return. I realize that while as a number it represents a smaller portion of what I do have, where/why it came from has way more value associated with it. I therefore see that this is something meant for me to use for myself versus being included as part of what I’ve been trying to giveaway. I only wished my mom was still around so that she could also experience this gift from her younger sibling.
